It was 2000 and I had been a believer since I was 9 but at age 24 I needed something that I could count on. I had tried managing a new career, a new family, and a new life on my own and the result was a life strained, burdened, tapped out, and broken. I hit a wall and was despondent and depressed. A dark cloud of sadness and hopelessness had surrounded me. I was at the end of my rope.
God did three things to pull me out of this pit and place me on the journey of His Way of living.
The first thing that God did was change the air around me. My job was largely indoors and I had moved away from the active lifestyle that had marked my teenage and college years. For some reason, I had signed up to be trained as a Challenge Course facilitator and the week that I was at my lowest I was suddenly pushed outside and made to use my body in active and intentional ways. I felt like I could breathe again and that I was tapping into resources that I had forgotten about. My perspective started to change. God entered those days to show me his presence.
The second thing that God did was change my vocation. Out of nowhere and even without all of the completed credentials, I was offered a job as a librarian. In an instant I was moved from the long nights and heavy weight of a demanding job into one that fit more my pace and my proclivities. I was no longer away from my family three nights out of the week but was home and given margin to pursue this new life with God that was growing.
The third thing that God did was give me new mentors. In a matter of days, I had found God in a new and refreshing way. I had repented of my desire to handle life on my own. I had taken myself off the throne of my life and placed Christ there and my life was changed but I still wanted more. I was hungry for a deep, rich life with Christ. I wanted a life that mattered and meant something.
I started to read many of the popular Christian books at the time and thought they were superficial and weak. I never got the sense that these authors even actually lived out many of the things they were writing about. But then I discovered Richard Foster and Dallas Willard. In them I found people that had gone deep and were deeply in love with Jesus. I wanted to have deep experiences with God like they did and I was drawn to their life with Jesus that seemed interactive, fruitful, spiritual, and holy. I discovered guides that could help me on the spiritual path that God had me on.
Everything that I write, everything that I try to teach here, and everything I hope God uses me for goes back to those moments 22 years ago. I was aimless, hopeless, stressed, hurting, and stretched too thin. God showed up and delivered me and gave me a new life and a new hope. I was not Grown Up at that moment but I was placed on the only true path to real hope and maturity. To God be the glory.
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