Why I Am Not A Dad Blogger

I am a parent but I hardly write about parenting. I am a husband but I hardly write about marriage. I hold a managerial job but I haven’t mentioned leadership on this blog. I am a member of a church but I barely mention church. I am a citizen of a democracy but I avoid political discussions and social commentary.

What is my problem? Am I avoiding these things?

This blog is about the maturity, wisdom, character development, and renovation of the heart that comes from the transforming power of Christ. My whole point of writing this blog is so that other people can find ways and methods and inspiration to be the Jesus they would be if Jesus were they.

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If individuals reading this can find growth in love, in compassion, in service, in sacrifice, in perseverance, and humility then their marriages will be improved and their parenting will be less selfish and their work will be more excellent and their participation in church will be more intentional.

I could make every post on this blog a listicle on how to have a great marriage but the heart of the matter wouldn’t change. I need the transforming power of Christ in my life in order to be the person, in all of its states and phases, that blesses others and makes a real difference.

I have a lot of work to do and so do you but the surest way to reach stronger, healthier, and blessed aspects of our lives is to follow Jesus, do what Jesus does, and be like Jesus is.

“He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ. To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me.” Colossians 1:28-29

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What Marriage Has Taught Me About Growing Up

This week we celebrated Valentine’s Day. I am very thankful for my beautiful and loving wife, Leah. We have been married for 19 years. Marriage is a great testing ground for our growth in Christlikeness. Here are a few things I have learned about Growing Up through the experience of marriage:

Anger needs to be dealt with

Many times, when I have had fights with my wife and we have left to different parts of the house in our anger, I have asked God to show me what to do. To direct my next steps. Almost every time, I have been directed to find her, reach out to her, and apologize. I have never been directed to sit there and stew on my anger. That would just make things worse.

Dallas Willlard says, “Anything that can be done with anger, can be done better without it.” So, it is best for me to swallow my pride and deal with my anger as soon as possible. We may be hurt but it would be best if we dealt with the anger so we can deal with the hurt.

Love and support of a committed person brings with it strength and courage to face major problems

I remember when my wife and I found out that our baby might have severe deformities. We were in shock and bewildered. But I also remember the quiet assurance that we seemed to give each other. Her support and encouragement blended with my support and encouragement to strengthen us for the uncertain months ahead. We were fearful and overwhelmed but knowing that we were there for each other and going through this together, eased our anxiety and gave us courage. I can’t overestimate the power of honest and true love and support. It can absolutely make the impossible seem possible.

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You can’t think about yourself for very long and if you do, be ready for problems

There is no such thing as “It’s all about me” time in a marriage. There may need to be time for space or time for personal recreation or entertainment but to shut off all burdens of commitment and time to your spouse so that you can do your own thing is not part of the contract your signed when you got married.

Commitment to commitment means something and our own wants should never outweigh our commitment to our spouse or to God. I have to consistently check myself and my motivations. Is my heart burning with selfishness and self-absorption? If so, I need to get back in the spiritual laboratory and let God take back control. For my benefit and fulfillment and hopefully for the benefit and fulfillment of my wife.

Marriage Conferences Are About Christlikeness

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Many people fail to realize that how you live your life as a Christian is important to God. Sure, they understand what a Christian looks like from a cultural stand point but what about what a Christian looks like interpersonally and intrapersonally. As someone who is concerned about other Christians becoming Christlike, I have grown frustrated with the idea that many Christian have about discipleship and becoming Christlike – that it is optional.

Marriage is an area of life where being Christlike is not optional; it is essential. My wife and I attended a marriage conference this past weekend and the speakers put more emphasis on strengthening your relationship with God than they did strengthening your relationship with your spouse. Also, they spoke about irritability, the thought life, honesty, forgiveness, and loving difficult people. No one at the conference thought these aspects were just side items to their life or nice add-ons to their faith. No, we all recognized how important it is for our marriages to be Christlike and possess a heart transformed by Christ.

If our hearts don’t change to reflect more of Christ than our marriages will suffer. In the same way, if our hearts do not reflect more of Christ than our entire life will suffer. Our job will be a struggle, our relationships will never grow into something meaningful and rewarding, and we will never find effective ways to share God with others. Perhaps marriage is the perfect springboard for helping us recognize how much we need Christ in our lives and we need him to transform us into the new creations we are called to be.

Good Words

Article: Perhaps Atheist are not as rational as they would have us believe.

oxforddictionary.com

 

Study: Outdoor activity does more for mental and emotional health than activity indoors.

YouTube: Interest in Gospel Music is on the rise.

Blog: Jan Johnson describes how marriage and family help combat selfishness.

Tweet: @donmilleris Long line at airport security. A TSA worker is yelling trivia questions. If you answer correctly you get to skip the line. Awesome.