Blogging In Crisis

How do you write when you would rather just sleep?

How do you write when everyday you feel like you have just been run over by a bus?

How do you write when you have been drained of every ounce of profundity or insight?

How do you write when just getting up in the morning to go to work is your greatest accomplishment for the day?

Regular readers of this blog may have noticed that I have gotten off my usual pattern. For months, I would put out two blog posts a week. I haven’t been able to do that this summer. I lack the mental, spiritual, and physical capacity at this moment to keep to that schedule.

All of my posts recently have centered on my dad’s illness and death and my part in that equation. From a spiritual sense, that is about all that I can address right now. Before this summer, I would have post ideas brewing days before and when it was time for me to write something, my thoughts would be primed and ready to go. But lately, the only thought I have brewing regarding this blog have been, “I hope I can get at least one out this week.”

detour

I haven’t lost my morning routine. I have remained consistent, yet not up to date, with my Apprentice Experience reading. I even exercise regularly. But expressing myself beyond my rawest emotions and most evident reflections has been difficult.

I write this not as a way to whine or to elicit sympathy but to tell you part of the toil that struggle and grief can take on a person. I also write this to give you a marker for how I am doing with my grief.

When I get back to two posts a week and can start writing about subjects that don’t involve disease, struggle, and death, then you will know I am doing better. I am just not there yet.

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How To Think About God During A Crisis

Cover of "Come, Lord Jesus (Rekindling th...

Cover via Amazon

I am reposting this because I thought about this today as we took Joy in for her Hernia surgery.

Everything went fine and God was good. Thanks for your prayers.

Joy is our youngest daughter and from birth (she was born with a cleft lip and palate) has been under doctor’s care for a variety of reasons including most recently for her infantile scoliosis. Last Friday, the torso cast that she had been wearing since August was removed and she now is in a brace. Her discomfort and pain because of the brace was evident early on and because her torso and abdomen had been under a cast for four months her sensory perception in this area was off. At one point Saturday, she was writhing in pain and pointing at the brace and saying, “It hurt me.”

They next thing we noticed on Saturday were signs of what we think may be a hernia. Weekend physician care is always sketchy and we spent most of the afternoon trying to figure out how concerned to be about her condition and what we needed to do to care for her. On top of this, we seem to have a small leak in the house that we were trying to manage and determine the cause. The point of all this is that there was nothing relaxing and calm about our weekend. In fact, it was very stressful and filled with worry.

I would like to tell you that I was the picture of serenity and hope throughout the weekend and that I was quoting scripture and trusting the Lord for every need. But that would be a lie. But here are a few of the things that were helpful to me and may be helpful to you during times of crisis.

1. Look for the Lord’s presence. I learned this through working at an inner city ministry that was marked by organized chaos. My constant prayer was “Lord, show yourself.” During those times at the ministry, I can’t tell you a time when God did not answer this prayer. Whether it was a word exchanged between me and another or a simple moment of feeling the presence of God holding me up and giving me strength. God is working all around us, even in times of crisis, and we need to have our God radar turned on.

2. Find something to pray repeatedly. Sometimes we are so stressed and are bombarded with noise and distraction that we can barely think straight. Praying elaborate and thoughtful prayers is not feasible. During these times it is best to pray a sentence or a verse that is simple and repeatable. Sentence prayers that I have used during stressful situations include the Jesus Prayer, “The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want,” “Lord, help me,” and “Come, Lord Jesus.”

3. Know what is in your toolbox. Despite our weaknesses and feelings of helplessness, we, as believers, have a tremendous amount of resources at our disposal. We have Christ dwelling inside us, we have the advocate and helper Holy Spirit, we have the new life given to us through conversion, and the power of the God of the universe.  We need to start living in the reality of the power that God has made possible and quit letting fear and worry overwhelm us.